Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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