Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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