My underwear smells like fireworks.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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