how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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