so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
