our cab driver is having phone sex.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
