so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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