Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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