One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
