I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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