K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
