yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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