I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
