Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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