I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
