Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
