No, you can still breathe under the balls.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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