He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
