I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize