he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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