Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
