what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
