I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
