Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
