i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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