Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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