nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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