Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
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i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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