I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
