Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
