You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
