Walk of Shame. In a state park.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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