I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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