can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
