ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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