when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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