chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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