Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
