You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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