Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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