Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
foreskin is a definite game changer
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
