Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
