Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she told me i tasted like america
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
