Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
