so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
