mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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