fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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