Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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