My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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