wake up i wanna do it froggy style
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize