today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
