saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
