***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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