i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
