I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize