We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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