i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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