Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
