i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
