If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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