he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
