I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
