she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
