after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
