Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
