I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
